Come smooch me.
Aw, I love you too.
You’re pouting? Lameeee.
Can’t hear you over the sound of my wife-induced tears.
You should probably get used to that for the rest of your life. You’re stuuuuuuck with me and my tear-inducing abilities.
Imma go cry.
Your manliness astounds me.
Oh, you just wound me.
Do I? Oh, I’m so sorry, baby.
Nope, not even a little bit.
Fiiine. You were the cutest.
But things clearly went downhill in that department once you got older.
But the cutest dork ever!
You’re not going to let up until I admit you were the cutest, are you?
I was a way cuter kid!
You were a dork. You had a pet squirrel.
Aw, baby… You look like the little kid from Home Alone!
But I’m totally cuter, right?
You can’t get cuter than a little kid who got left by himself on Christmas and fought off some burglars… But you’re the totally cuter adult. He really let himself go.