[There was a comfort from her touching his hair that Sam couldn’t help and settle in to. He could feel himself calming and relaxing under her touch, enough to continue leaning in to it. Her question, he could actually tell was a tease and so he tried to tease back, hoping that would relay and she wouldn’t take it as an offensive comment.]
[He followed it up with a little, almost innocent smile that caused the dimples of his cheeks to become more pronounced. As far as kisses went, he was sure that one had to be pretty close to perfect.]
[Sugar smiled as he teased back, almost feeling like it was a normal moment. Teasing and toying with each other was kind of their thing, and it was natural for her, at least. The sight of his dimpled smile made her heart skip a beat. This was her Sam. The man she loved, and the man she married. Letting out a little laugh, she leaned to press a kiss against the dimple of one his cheeks. Ethan had inherited them for his father, and their smiles were both something that made her melt.]
”I’m sorry that it was so awful.”
[She spoke softly, before finding her confidence, and moving her head to kiss him softly again. Her need to be close to him, outweighed her fear of rejection.]
[He couldn’t help but bite on his bottom lip a moment and leaned a little in to her touch. Terrified was apt, really. He was terrified, even if he couldn’t fully explain it. It was daunting to know what kind of shoes he had to fill even if they were his own, terrifying to know he could still feel so much for someone he didn’t really remember and overwhelming to know he had to ‘grow up’ now.]
"I kind of am.But it’s okay. It’s okay."
[Sugar liked it when he leaned into her touch, taking that as a positive sign. He wasn’t pushing her away. She continued to move her hand through his hair, absentmindedly almost. It was a natural thing to do. She always played with his hair when they kissed, and she hoped it would relax him now. Part of her wanted to kiss him again, to try and ease whatever tension he felt, but Sugar was too worried that he wouldn’t want to.]
”Was the kiss that bad for you?”
[A tease, of course. It had been mind blowing and perfect. She wanted him to talk to her, but she didn’t want to push.]
[Sam was a mess of emotions and confusion in that moment. He knew he didn’t regret sharing those kisses with her and he knew that realistically he had no reason to. This woman, this beautiful and attractive woman was his wife. He needed to start accepting that more than he already was doing. He basically needed to grow up. Though he felt like a 15 year old, he knew he wasn’t. He was older, with a wife and son and a real grown up adult life Which meant he would want to kiss her and he had no reason not to do it.]
"I don’t regret it."
[Sugar was relieved to hear he didn’t regret it. It had all happened in the heat of the moment, and the thought that he regretted it now scared her more than anything. She knew she couldn’t make him love her, but she at least wanted a chance to get their love back. It had been so wonderful, so magic and the best thing that had ever happened to both of them - there had to be way to get it back again. If he didn’t want to kiss her, then it would be difficult.
When he said he didn’t regret it, her lips curved up into a little smile. It got her hopes up entirely too high, but she didn’t care. Reaching a hand to gently brush through his hair, she kept her eyes on him, seeing the expression on his face before making a quiet comment.]
”You look terrified.”
[Sam closed his eyes as they kissed and truthfully, he felt it all. He felt that love for her, he felt that connection and in his heart and mind he knew; he knew that no matter how awkward he felt, she was it. She was his Allie, he was her Noah and nothing was going to replace that. So he had to give in and accept it all, he had to embrace it and try not to fear it.
So he kissed her. He kissed her slowly, he kissed her softly, and he held on to her tightly. He only broke the kiss when he needed to breathe, and simply pressed his forehead to hers. He was silent save for his quickened breathing but truthfully didn’t feel like he needed to say anything. Words were just words and they weren’t necessary.]
[Sugar had tried to push away her feelings for Sam, to try and focus on helping him get better rather than forcing him to commit to her. It hadn’t worked well, but she had at least tried. Now, all efforts were thrown out of the window because he’d kissed her. He’d actually kissed her and reminded her how much she loved him. It was like his lips were made to be kissing hers.
Her eyes closed as they continued to kiss, her hold tightening on him as her arms slid around the back of his neck, linking together as she focused on him. She was disappointed when he pulled back, and let out a breath, her heart rate definitely having increased. She kept her eyes closed as he pressed his forehead to hers, not wanting to break the peace she felt. She didn’t want to see regret on his face. Reluctantly opening them, she looked into his eyes.]
”You don’t regret that, do you?”
[Sam didn’t quite know what had come over him but the urge to kiss her when they argued was absolutely overwhelming. So he moved in towards her, hands going to her face to hold her as he kissed her. The thing was, it didn’t feel new as such. It felt natural but still thrilling and he kissed her with an ease that he’d not realised he could experience. But yet, he almost feltl like he could remember; maybe he did. Remember how it felt to hold her, to kiss her and how much he loved her.
His hands lingered on her as she pulled her head back and for a moment, he simply stared at her in shock. But rather than actually vocally respond to her, he simply leaned in for another kiss. Words failed him and he didn’t know how else to express himself.]
[Sugar kept her eyes on him as she waited for him to reply, seeing that he was in as much shock as she was. She hadn’t expected him to kiss her, not after their argument. She knew that intimacy was a way they used to fix their problems after a fight but not now, not anymore. She didn’t stop him from kissing her again, her hands going to hold his neck to keep him close to her just like he held her face.
Words clearly weren’t going to work anymore. It would simply be the same words, the same argument that she was trying to help and he didn’t know what he was doing - it would get them nowhere. This… might not get them anywhere either, but his lips felt perfect against hers and she didn’t want it to stop.]
I don’t know what I’m doing. I just—
[Sugar didn’t fully register the fact Sam was leaning in towards her, and couldn’t react fully when she felt his lips pressing against hers. It took her a moment to respond, but when she had come to her senses, she returned the kiss softly. It brought back so many memories, and all her old feelings came rushing back. She loved him, and she missed him dearly. The power of the emotion she felt made her gently pull her head back, looking at him with wide, shocked eyes.]
”Am I dreaming or did you really just do that?”
How do you love me if we used to argue all the time? How wasn’t I just the worst husband?
It wasn’t all the time. You were the best husband. The best husband, the best father, the best everything. We fought and bickered, but we always made up after. We were like Allie and Noah, you know? Different, but passionate.
I can’t help it! I’m trying! I don’t know- what if I did it and I was bad? What if you don’t feel the same then ‘cause I’m not the same guy? What happens then?
That’s not going to happen. I love you, okay? I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody, and that’s not going to go away just because you don’t remember. I remember, and that’s why I’m always going to feel the same, because I remember every little moment we’ve shared, what we used to be like and I want that again. Heck, we’ve heading in that direction since we’re arguing again and we always used to do that. And I know you won’t be bad.
So it’s my fault? I thought people weren’t blaming me for this. It’s not something I can control! I held hands with Quinn but she’s the only girl I remember doing that with. It scares me that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Some times I don’t want to touch you because I don’t know you but sometimes I have this urge to just kiss you and I don’y know what I’m doing. I just don’t know.
I’m not blaming you for this! I know it’s not your fault, and I’ve never blamed you. But I’m allowed to be upset and frustrated by it, Sam. Oh great, it’s so nice to be reminded that the only girl you remember is your ex. You don’t know me, but I’m your wife! How’re you supposed to you remember me if you’d prefer to go and read a comic than talk things out with me? If you have the urge, then you should just do it, it’s not like I’d push you away. I know you don’t know what you’re doing, but I’ve been trying to help!